there was this dream i had once, i was in this small, dimly lit room/house. like an old shop house. it was a sheltar for several kids with aids. and my duty was to guard the bathroom opening, cos they had no money to build a door. but this one little boy was really mischievous and he kept wanting to play with the water. then my friends came by the house and asked me to go out with them and while i was distrcted, the boy ran in the bathroom and started playing under the showerhose. then he suddenly became very afraid and started crying and lay on the floor, and the person-in-charge of the sheltar came in and quickly picked him up and took him away.

it was at this point in time that i learnt that they couldn't touch water or they'll fall very ill
( i also dunno why. haha) and the boy like, might die. and i was busy saying 'i'm very sorry, i didnt know, i was distrcted and he ran in...' then my mum came by and said i had to go, so i left, and then she was saying she needed to go buy a new house and i said ok, i need to go meet my friends. and we both laughed and said 'haha this feels so funny after leaving the sheltar, what we're fussing over seems so lame, compared to what they're fussing over'. then i woke up, and i felt awful because that's the truth! people in cambodia, africa, philippines, thailand etc spend each day, concerned with things that affect their life and death but we spend most of the time concerned with the new phone i want, the new jeans i need, the bag i covet etcetcetc, and it seems sososo ridiculously lame.

sometimes i walk by places like raffles hotel and i look at the shops like jim thompson, gucci etc and think ' it's so nice to live the life of a rich person'.
then i look at the people in vertu, paragon and wonder ' how rich are they, to be able to afford a phone (and it's services) like that?'

but i guess wealth isn't what we should really desire because when we get the big house and drive the larmborghini and whatever i'm convinced we'll find that it means nothingnothingnothing.

but i also think the affluent suffer as much as the poor, but in different ways.
the poor don't have food, water, sheltar, but they'll never suffer the insane levels of stress that work and studies can bring, they'll never suffer an identity crisis, they'll never suffer the ills of the corporate world. they won't face the mind blowing shock of bankruptcy or retrenchment either.

i believe suffering happens to every single person, everywhere, and it's of the same intensity.

but i know that if we all know that there's somebody in control of circumstances and situations, that we're all exactly where we're mean to be, and every single one of us is of innate worth, then suffering won't be so bad, then we can face life with hope and joy :)